when daddy's little girl grown up
I'm sorry for writing this in English, I think I felt less ashamed to tell how I feel in English. Sorry for my bad English..ha?. hahahaha
I got emo this morning, I was goggling the place that I wish to go for my intern. I really like to travel and hate office hour job. I don't like doing same routine everyday cause I'm type of person that like to try something new. Something to challenge my mind. do something that I curious.
While I goggling , I was looking at media agency in Kuala Lumpur/ klang valley area, something really bother me, I grown up in KL for 11 Years and move to Selangor for 11 Years but I still feel not used with everything about KL.
I know my dream is there, and I have to be independent. I have aunt that live in KL but I don't want to be so depend on her. My head start to say that my dad is too concern about me. overprotected. I am 22 , but he always treated me like I am 16. In my dad eyes, I am forever young. That's why I'm so afraid to think how will I survive there next 6 month? will my dad worry about me too much? I want to be like MULAN. A girl who work hard to help his dad, but everything scare me now. I don't know anything. because I used to be in my comfort zone for a long time. I feel hopeless, then its remind me to a story.
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So, this is the story, how a daddy's little girl started to blame his dad for not giving her freedom as much as her friends get. she want to be independent like them. They can go out and reach home late at night.
Sometimes, when her friends call her and asked her to join them doing night activity like going to concert, night movie and a lot of activity that young girl especially in KL do, she always say no, cause her dad will start nagging before she even open her mouth. That girl was me. no, its not was, its me.still me.
remember back in school, my friends was like
" sarah, lets go to times square, its fun there!!"
and, you know, my dad was nagging at me about how dangerous outside world. I don't understand why my dad was too busy for us (my sibling) because of his job but he didn't allowed me to hanging out with my friends. My life was so boring. I was soooooo YESTERDAY girl at school. My friends have a lot of activity and story to share everyday, and I was just keep quiet and pretend that I understand.
I hate what happened but I never told him. I pretend that I understood that he care. I respect him so I didn't disobey him.
Even in Uni, its never change!!
I live in college, for only 3 semester, My dad is the happiest person when he knows that I will be further my study @UKM. He said that no matter how far, he will always come to visit me. and because UKM is about 20 minute ( without jam) from my house. So, he come to visit me almost everyday. Unless when he busy, but he keep calling me everyday. Haha. funny, but that's my dad. My roommate know this.
My close friends know this as well , wherever I go, he will always call me. Asking me 5W 1H question, and everybody was like " is that your jealous boyfriend?"
And I was like: " no, its my dad"
and sometimes, when he call and seems like curious about what I'm doing, I just pass the phone to my friends and said " ayah, this is nisa , dila, tira" (or whoever ) and my friends was like. " Hi pakcik, sarah is with us!!"
Sounds like papadom right?haha. but, no, I'm not his only daughter, I have 4 more sisters but he treated all of us like this but usually I'm the most need to be concern one. He always say that my younger sister is more independent than me.
I was hurt by the way so I challenged my self, I took STPM tuition and travel ALL ALONE. Travel fom Kajang to Pasar Seni, every weekend. Actually I got some issue with one of my friend when she said that I will never be independent. I tell my mom that I'm all grown up, 19 years old, dad don't have time for me so I need to do everything on my own, why don't let me try to do everything on my own. My mom pass this to my dad ( my mum can't keep secret, everything must tell my dad. hahaha. but that's good) and my dad allow me to go for study purpose.
So, it make me want to show everybody that I can be independent, finally, I did it and I like it. Even though I feel like a stupid person. nobody to chit chat. I talked to strangers randomly.
But I state in mind that " don't look stupid, when you look stupid , then the criminal will like to attack you" . So I pretend like I know about everything and walking around Petaling Street with my stranger friend. As I travel, I saw many old people, bad youngster, and a lot of thing that I learned. My heart move when I saw an Indian youngster, wearing earing, colored hair, and very fierce look stand up and let the eldest sit.
Then , I learned something " don't judge people, based on his look, maybe he got something nice in his heart but rarely shown". I meet that kind of person, a lot. And I love what I seen.
I think it can related to my dad as well, he don't allowed me to do a lot of thing but actually he cared so much. Living in this metropolitan city, Its hard to maintain your time with your work and with your family. it even hard to make sure that your daughter is doing fine. ME, myself have difficultly to not getting influence with my friends. My dad did not tell, but I need to figure out myself.
And I love how Allah always try to communicate with me with all the thing that happen around me. It feel like HE whispered to my ears and said " see, this is what I wanna told you, I hope you learned something" .
and that's how I become more matured . As I grow up, I realize that , because my sister have me to rely but I don't have sister or brother where I can rely on. so he always give me extra attention. He say that I like to do something without thinking first. (yeah, like eating cili api even I know that my stomach can't accept that).
I'm proud that I listen to my dad, but often cry to show that I disagree or start begging my mom. Haha. I though my dad busy because he like his work but its actually for all of us. we need to eat, we need to change cloth and etc, etc.
yeah, I am 22 years old. and still daddy little girl.
One guy told me" alolor, so manja, tell your dad where are you now."
I get offended, but then I take it as a joke. There is one guy that asked me to lie to my parents just because he want me to go out with him and I was like
" bitch, please. How you can be so irresponsible? I used to be fool but now I think its too old to play this game"
when I listen to this song, it make me cry... I know, until now, I still my daddy little girl. AND PROUD TO BE ONE. I know that some people wish to be in my shoes. Not every dad is like this. Even I'm not rich, I don't get freedom, I am so yesterday. but I know one thing for sure, I got my DAD's LOVE. That's the MOST PRECIOUS THING ON EARTH.
always love my ayah. Nobody can replace him.
Dad, is the first men,
who kiss you,
recite azan to your ears,
always wish the best for you.
He teach you how to walk
he teach you to be strong.
Always scold you if you do something wrong,
concern but rarely show.
cry but act strong,
work hard but never feel tired,
all he need is your smile.
so, please don't leave this guy , that you know since you born for any guy, who you only met within a few month of years. -My Philosophy-
Most of dad feel bad when he knows that he can't give his daughter or his son everything that they need. But we don't know, we keep demanding. And act like our parent are not the good one.
For girls, you know how scared your dad to know that you are grown up and changed? go buy CHICKEN SOUP FOR FATHER AND DAUGHTER, dad just want everything the best for you. I understand my mum after I read chicken CHICKEN SOUP FOR MOTHER SOUL. because its about how a mom feel. I appreciate her more. This can be good if you want to understand how your dad feel... ^^
in this world there are so many thing unspoken. so you need to figure out yourself, or you will be forever misunderstood. WORLD IS BEAUTIFUL IF YOU SEE IT FROM DIFFERENT VIEW.
For girls, you know how scared your dad to know that you are grown up and changed? go buy CHICKEN SOUP FOR FATHER AND DAUGHTER, dad just want everything the best for you. I understand my mum after I read chicken CHICKEN SOUP FOR MOTHER SOUL. because its about how a mom feel. I appreciate her more. This can be good if you want to understand how your dad feel... ^^
in this world there are so many thing unspoken. so you need to figure out yourself, or you will be forever misunderstood. WORLD IS BEAUTIFUL IF YOU SEE IT FROM DIFFERENT VIEW.
so, it was like my dad say : GET READY, GET SET , BUT DON'T GO!!
p/s: But dad, I need to go... let me work dad, I will further my master later. I want to help you. please let me. when I get married, I need to listen to my husband, If he don't allow me to work, then, when its the time to for me to becoming your knight shinning of amour?? it always you who became mine. he...he... Don't worry, I tell Allah, I need someone that can understand you because one day, he will be a dad like you. and dad, I'm not even think about marriage yet. I know I have obligation . Don't worry. ^^
Guys, respect your father in law as much as if you want your wife to respect your mom...
ah, mama, I love you too!! but this entry is about dad!! hahaha...
Thanks Allah for choosing him to be my dad , I'm so blessed ^^
Thanks Allah for choosing him to be my dad , I'm so blessed ^^
